(Spoof beginning). Recently found among the many archeological sites in Rome were a number of kinescope recordings of an early tv show from the 300s. It was a late-night comedy show with a lot of politics.
"Greetings everyone, my name is Stefano Coliberi, and my comments and guests should keep you up to date on trends in the Roman Empire. The big news of the day is Constantine and his 3 sons, all emperors in part or for the full empire, are all now dead. The question for us is, will the religion that they all have encouraged, pampered, favored, survive them? Or was it simply a family cult that will go the way of other pet cults of previous emperors?
In the early 100s, Emperor Hadrian succeeded Trajan. Trajan was a warrior emperor, expanding the borders of empire; Hadrian was more for consolidating those borders. Hadrian decided Iraq was impossible to defend, so he abandoned it. Meanwhile he build a wall across northern England to indicate what Rome would defend, and what leave to the Scots. He build forts along the Rhine and Danube to protect those areas from German barbarians. He was involved in architecture, and improved the domed roof of the Parthenon with its open eye atop. Hadrian would come to be known as one of the 5 good emperors. His marriage was to solidify his and agreed upon future monarchs. Indeed, he had no interest in women sexually.
In Turkey he met a young Greek who was about to embark to Rome to attend an imperial school. The young Greek was probably from a farm family. And he was handsome. At some point, they become more than friends, and when Hadrian tours the empire, he is accompanied sometimes by his wife, and the young Greek. On a boat trip down the Nile, the young Antinous goes into the river and drowns. Some thought there were assassins on the grassy knoll who threw rocks at the youth, hitting his head, and leading to his death. Others thought that was just conspiracy theories. But Hadrian's wife did seem a bit happier.
Hadrian was so sad, he made Antinous into a god, built temples round the Empire where people could worship him, and had many statues of the beautiful young man displayed round the Empire. On one level, it was not a new story; after all even Zeus had his Ganymede. But observers did note that the temples to Antinous did tend to attract handsome young men and those attracted to them. It was certainly not the largest cult, but it did continue even despite the hostility of the new Christian groups.
Well, I predict the Antinous temple will thrive now that Emperor Julian is pulling the plug, stopping all Imperial payments to the Christian Churches, and returning to the old Roman customs of subsidizing the temple of the gods and goddesses. My question - will the Christian cult survive without the support of the Imperial govt.?
Constantine and his family pushed upon Rome this new religion of Christianity. There was a new god, a foreign one, one from the Middle East. Well, Rome has had many gods from all over, so nothing drastic there. But this new religion presents us with a god who is a criminal, a convicted felon! The Christian god was rejected by his own people. They are the ones who shouted "crucify him." At his execution, Roman authorities mocked him with a sign on his cross: INRI, Iesus Nazareth Rex (king) Iudea. And in contrast with the handsome Antinous, though this Iesus did have a rather good body, it had bloody holes in it; one in each hand and feet! This is not at all in the Roman tradition - accepting such a god is totally un-Roman, subversive, treason to our traditions. The Christians speak of miracles; well, it would take a miracle for the Roman Empire to accept such a religion.
This is Stefano Coliberi with your nightly report on events in the Roman Empire. Emperor Julian continues to revive the Roman temples, taking back the privileges that the Constantine clique granted to their un-Roman, foreign cult. I predict, within a decade or 2, we will never hear the name of Christ again. Instead, Rome will be Rome again.
And Rome will be bigger. Emperor Julian is leading an army to defeat the Persians, Iran, whatever you want to call it. Alexander the Great showed that it can be done. And Julian will do it.
Stefano Coliberi again. Horrible news tonight. Emperor Julian was killed in battle by an arrow or javelin through his neck. That waw 363. Worse, the army then chose a new leader, and emperor, Jovian, who is an avowed Christian. Jovian restored Christianity as the favored religion, but generally allowed religious tolerance. Jovian died in less than a year in 364, but his successors would all be Christians.
This is Stefano Colibero with the news, Why are you interrupting me? What do you mean I am not going to host this show any more? I always supported the Christians, perhaps a few jokes, but you know what I meant. Wait. Don't pull that plug, the kinescope won't....
HUGH MURRAY
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